The Euro Cake

Great Britain is pondering leaving the European Union. The British currency is the Pound. I was thinking of making a pound cake. To hell with that. I refuse to promote the currency of a nation that may leave Ireland swinging in the cold wind of European island isolation. No, I will modify the traditional pound cake recipe and make instead a Euro Cake. 

Here’s the maths. Given the relative strength of the Pound (damn them) and current exchange rates, my euro cake will only be 0.74 the size of a traditional pound cake. The pound cake recipe calls for a pound of each butter, flour, sugar and eggs. The British version has a nip of vanilla essence added too. We must steer clear of that. So the Euro recipe calls for a bit of maths as I convert from pounds to grammes. First I must apply the 0.74 to get us well away from their currency and into the less valuable Euro. I then have to convert the pound to grammes. One quick calculation tells me I need to use 335.6584 grammes of each main ingredient. Tradition tells me I am free to add a few European ingredients too. This will help with the Eurofication of my cake too.

I did as best I could to get the grammage correct as you can see from the photos.

Not an eggsact measurement. But, close enough.

Unlike in the currency markets, I allow a little bit of margin for error.

The butter will weigh less without the foil.

I used self-raising flour. If we want the Euro to rise, it will need all the help it can get.

Close enough, I think.

I went a little lighter on the sugar, not that you would notice.

Exact measurement of the sugar. I’m getting good at this.

My Eurofacated (yes, there is such a word) ingredients included a couple of handfuls of raisins (European of course) soaked in Marsala wine. I also used a couple of generous handfuls of walnuts (European too).

They had been soaking in wine for more than 24 hours. Very European.

The Euro Cake doesn’t suffer the difficulties and complex construction of other European institutions. Putting it together is pretty straightforward. First, beat the butter. I let it get to room temperature before starting. Then slowly add the sugar.

The mixture starts to come together. A sort of European harmony in process.

Add the eggs one at a time. Then gradually add the sifted flour. I changed over to a K hook at this stage. Add the sultanas and walnuts.

It’s difficult to not eat the mixture raw. It’s very tasty.

Place the mixture into two loaf tins. I used two silicone ones, wiped with loads of butter.

These are pound sized tins. Plenty big enough for the Euro Cake.

I put them into a 180º oven for about an hour. I used a skewer to test them for doneness (Stick it in the middle, if it comes out clean, they’re done). Let them cool down for about 15 minutes before trying to extract them from the tins. This for two reasons. One, they will probably fall apart. Two, they will undoubtedly burn you. Just like the Brits will get burned when they exit the EU.

The cakes look like great Euro value altogether.

When you have braved the hot cakes, let them cool off completely on a wire rack.

“Pretty cool cakes” I hear you think. Yes, I can hear what you think.

Stay away until the cake is completely cool. This will be difficult to do.

The plump sultanas and walnuts add a lovely bit of Euro taste.

Now, all that’s left to be done is to slice the cake, butter a slice and serve it, with some nice coffee, to a British politician or two. They will like the cake so much, they will want to stay Eurofied (yes, there is such a word too).

Lovely Euro cake. Perhaps we should let them go. More for the rest of us!