‘Weird Ingredients Cooking’ with the man who wasn’t there.

I have a conundrum. My problem is literary rather than culinary. I caused today’s difficulty when I wrote about The Man Who Wasn’t There. It was pretty straightforward writing about something that didn’t happen and somebody who wasn’t there to see it not occur.  All that was easy enough. My issues started when I was handed this note by my friend who may, or may not, have made his second trip home from Australia since Christmas.

How do I write about the return of somebody who wasn’t there in the first place? It puts me in mind of the old Irish explanation of a bike being stolen; “There it was, up against the wall, gone”. Anyway, if you are still with me, and for clarity, despite him not being there in the first place, he did return. He handed me the above note. He also handed me a cooler box and bag of mystery ingredients. I can’t resist a challenge and the rules of engagement really got me thinking.

The beautiful mystery ingredients from Australia. What was I going to do?

First things first. I needed to find out what the ingredients were. The grape tomatoes, wine and olive oil were easy enough, as were the white onions. The king mushrooms, Tutaekuri potato, mini squash I cracked within an hour and three-quarters on the internet. The pepper variety had me stumped. 

Under the above rules, I could add garlic, a protein and a carbohydrate. I chose pork chops and sweet potatoes. I had to add a decent amount as word spread and interest in the challenge rose. I was cooking for six. First I par boiled the mini squash.

Mini squash landing in the pot of boiling water.

Then I popped them into a bowl of ice water.

Arresting the cooking with iced water. It helps preserve the high colour too.

Then I chopped the onions.

A gratuitous onion shot. They had been brought from the far side of the globe for this.

Then I fried them in some of the olive oil and added a half glass of the wine to keep within the rules.

The challenge had me outside my comfort zone. I would not have thought of adding the wine to the onions otherwise.

Next we (help from daughter) chopped garlic and slice the pork into strips. Cue the best pouring shot of recent times. We add the olive oil to the pork and garlic.

The oil had a nice peppery note to it. Good to see the Australians doing their own thing.

Then I peeled the potatoes. Fantastic colours are revealed.

Purple potatoes are also called Peruvian or Tutaekuri Potatoes. I am now an expert on the subject.

These were put on to steam while we (daughter again) peeled and chopped the sweet potatoes. We drizzled them with olive oil and sprinkled on some salt. Then 20 minutes in the oven.

Ready for the oven. Lovely colourful sweet potatoes.

The pork pieces were ‘twizzled’ to give more opportunity for crispy edge bits and then baked in the oven for 15 minutes.

I thought ‘Twizzled’ was a word of my own invention. Daughter assures me it isn’t.

Then we prepared the squash by cutting them in half, removing the seeds and stuffing them with some onion, garlic, tomato and a drizzle of olive oil.

The mini squash stuffed and ready to go in the oven.

By this time, my returning friend had called by. He told us that the peppers were paprika peppers. We opened them up and they went into the oven too.

Mini squash and paprika peppers get a drizzle of the oil before 10 minutes in a hot oven.

I then sliced the king mushrooms and fried them off on the griddle pan.

These were more meaty than the pork. Beautiful.

All that was left to do was take out the pork, mash the potatoes, assemble the dish and feed the hoard.

The purple potatoes mashed up very well. They tasted good too.

We decided on the big chopping board as the best way to present the meal. (I was later accused of being “a bit Jamie Oliver”).

The meal assembled. It didn’t last long.

Challenge accepted and weird ingredients cooking completed. The man who wasn’t there has returned to Oz. The good news is he is due back in Ireland for a week in five weeks time. I’m looking forward to the next challenge. Bring it on!